Crystal Blue Persuasion

Craftier Than Thou

2012-01-18T20:29:00.003-07:00

Once upon a time, I had a blog. It went to visit its grandmother one day, carrying a basket of cookies. I haven't seen it since.

Here's what I've been up to in the past, say, three months.
Hand-knitted socks for Regis. He loves them.

My charming brother and sister-in-law. Please admire the bustle. We had a blast making it. I'm tempted to make another for myself for everyday wear.

The wreath craze has clearly hit me hard. But admit it: they're darling.

This last is not finished. It will eventually be a coat hanger for the girls, with posts where the birds' feet would be. But I'm awfully proud of those fat little birds.

There's more, of course. But I don't want to make you feel TOO inadequate.

We're Special

2011-09-27T11:33:00.003-06:00

This is our friendly way of saying, "We've had Hand Foot and Mouth Disease! Aren't we lucky?"

And this is my happy way of saying, "This is how a whole week with quarantined children makes me feel."

Gastronomy

2011-09-20T17:48:00.004-06:00

You know how some people like olives with pimientos in them? Or jalapenos? Or even little onions?

This is what my girls like:

Those, for the uninitiated, are raspberries--with capers stuffed in them. It's a new culinary sensation.

Summer 2011

2011-09-05T14:48:00.006-06:00

Yes, I know summer isn't technically over until later this month, but I can smell fall in the air. We've had a very fun summer and I'm sad to see it go. It was also very eventful: Evie lost part of her tooth and gained a scar on her forehead, I lost most of my hair in a drastic new cut, Regis started business school, and Abby has started joy school and grown like a weed. This fall promises to be busy, and probably stressful, as Regis comes to grips with his future and I come to grips with a student budget. Overall, though, it's getting better and better all the time.

Snuggle Bugs

2011-08-06T14:16:00.002-06:00

My baby, who is now 2 years old, fell asleep on my shoulder as I rocked her today. I LOVE it when that happens, in large part because it's such a novelty. She has never been much of one for snuggling, so I try to make the most of it when she does. Evie is such an adventurous little thing. She's chipped her front tooth twice (the same tooth!), had a heavy chair fall on her face, toppled off the back of the rocking chair, and all before her second birthday. But I admire her strong will and determination, even though it frustrates me frequently. It's a constant struggle to teach and discipline her, putting her in the right path without breaking her spirit. Does it sound to anyone else like she's a teenager already? Maybe that's why my own mom used to pull teenage me onto her lap, when I felt like I must be squashing her. I guess I'll never grow out of wanting my baby on my lap.

Short Cuts

2011-07-22T15:34:00.003-06:00

I was in Salt Lake City the other day and took a short cut that I wasn't familiar with. This is the result.

Choppity chop! This is something I've been wanting to do for a long time, and I am having SO MUCH FUN with it. I drove up to Salt Lake to put myself in the hands of my cousin Ashley. We had a great time, and I'm just delighted with the result. I don't know how long I'll keep it (tee hee) this short.

Double Trouble

2011-05-16T14:53:00.002-06:00

My car is now the proud repository of two coordinating pink carseats. Evie has graduated to a forward-facing seat in anticipation of several long car trips this summer. Regis hopes (I fear vainly) that facing forward will make her a pleasanter travelling companion. We shall see.

What Is This?

2011-03-17T17:16:00.002-06:00

Anyone know what this is?

Let's hear some guesses.

It is, in fact, the baby wipe with which I wiped Evie's face.

Why is it so colorful? What was she eating?

Skittles?

M&M's?

Gobstoppers?

No. Magic Marker. Yes folks, she was sticking capless markers into her mouth and sucking on them. I found her with the brown. How many other colors do you see there?

Kids are SO gross.

Trip to Texas

2011-03-08T11:50:00.007-07:00

In my continuing quest to escape the cold frozen wastes of Utah, we went to visit my sister and her family in Texas last month. Before we left, Amber warned us that the forecast was for "cold" weather--maybe even down to 40 degrees! We quivered in fear. Thankfully, the weather was extremely pleasant the whole time we were there, to me anyway. :) We took advantage of it and played at the beach in Galveston. Since it was the off season, the beach was nearly deserted, but still plenty warm enough for us all to enjoy ourselves.

We also visited the San Jacinto Monument, and the Battleship Texas.

One of my favorite parts was visiting the police horses to feed them carrots, apples, and peppermints. There was even a horse named Abby! I haven't spent a lot of time around horses, and I was surprised at how much personality they have.

My perception may have been skewed because I was sick, but I was disappointed in the Houston rodeo. The smaller rodeos I've been to here are more fun. I wish we'd arrived earlier and had more time at the livestock show before the event, but none of us were thrilled by the Clay Walker concert, which is what really filled the rodeo arena.

We also made it to the Houston Zoo, which is enormous. I really liked the interactive exhibits, like these drums, and we all had a good laugh about the "Feed the Giraffes" opportunity: I think it was $5 for 3 pieces of lettuce.
All the excursions while we were in Texas were lots of fun, but a lot of the time we just spent relaxing at Amber and Steven's house while the girls played together. Abby and Olivia liked playing together, anyway. It will be a few months yet before Evie and Carmen are ready to enjoy each other's company. It was a really great trip, and I'm glad we got to hang out with Amber and Steven again. I'd say Texas and the Houston area in particular are definitely on our list of places we could enjoy living in.

Dropping the Ball, or Goodbye 2010

2011-01-09T22:03:00.004-07:00

I think I'm obligated to write a wrap-up post, now that 2010 has ended. This year has brought a lot of changes, of course, but nothing especially drastic.

Evie has learned to crawl and then to walk. She is very strong-minded and determined, which I often find incredibly frustrating. My mother says this is because she's so much like me. She loves reading books, pulling the lids off markers, pouring liquid from one container to another, and taking baths. She loves to touch snow, but not to play in it. She always wants to learn how to do things herself. Evie and Abby are very fond of each other and can often be found jumping on Abby's bed together or cooperating in spreading their toys all over their room.

Abby has really enjoyed her dance class this year, and so have I. Less comprehensible to me has been her sudden love of all things princess-y. She now declines to wear pants any day of the week, insisting on dresses and skirts. I sometimes have to battle her to put on socks, tights, or leggings underneath, even when it is freezing cold outside. She loves to dance around the living room to "princess music" (we have divergent opinions on what that means) and has a very funny expression that she considers her "princess face." Abby was delighted to gain a new aunt this year when my younger brother married, and we have all enjoyed having Court and Lisa over.

I really got into knitting last year, finishing a sweater vest, three pairs of socks, a hand-holding mitten set, and various other small projects. I also, at the very close of the year, was introduced to spinning yarn on a spindle, and I'm looking forward to developing that skill this year. My other accomplishments included running a 5K, embracing the wave in my hair, lighting my first fireworks, and doing a ridiculous amount of reorganizing.

Regis has worked a lot this year. He has been promoted twice (He wouldn't call it that, but that's what it is.) and is learning a lot about managing employees, and business in general. He has enjoyed our vacations to Logan, California, Denver, and other places, and hopes the new year will hold more fun trips.

Here's to 2010.

Christmas 2010

2011-01-09T21:50:00.003-07:00

Oh hey, look, it's a new year! So let me tell you about Christmas. It was definitely a good Christmas. We got to see Grandma and Grandpa, and were delighted to see Regis' brother's family who have been in Ecuador. We all got some great loot and had tons of fun playing a dance game on the Wii. (In case you're curious, I rocked everybody's socks. Multiple times.)

As you can see, Abby enjoyed her visit with Santa (although I was disgusted when he asked her if she wanted a Barbie for Christmas. Yes, I know, she's ubiquitous, but that's all the more reason to branch out, Santa. Abby doesn't even know who Barbie is, frankly). Evie declined to sit on his lap, but magnanimously accepted a candy cane.

Christmas is a wonderful time of year. I'm grateful for all my family members, including my Savior, Jesus Christ.

Turkey Day Trip

2010-12-08T10:47:00.007-07:00

We went to Colorado to visit my brother's family for Thanksgiving, and boy did we have fun!
I'm pretty sure Abby wanted to stay in Colorado forever.
We had tons of fun just hanging out with the family,
but we also enjoyed visiting the Denver Children's Museum and the Garden of the Gods.

Thanksgiving dinner was absolutely delicious--I'm determined to brine my next turkey, because of how moist and tasty theirs was. Thanks again, Glenn and Julie. We love you!

Spinnaroni Penne

2010-11-20T20:08:00.005-07:00

This is a blend of a dish from my Australia The Beautiful Cookbook (which I love for the vagary of its adjective) and a sauce from Our Best Bites. It's yummy and gooey and crispy on top, AND it has spinach which practically makes it a health food. Except that the spinach is . . . well, you'll see. My favorite thing about this meal is this: as we were eating, I mentioned that I was going to blog about the recipe, and asked, "What should we call this dish?" Abby responded, "The Little Mouse!"

Spinnaroni Penne
or, The Little Mouse

Sauce:
2 C low-fat milk
1/3 C (3 oz) low fat cream cheese
Okay, before we go any further, I have to confess: this is called "Guiltless Alfredo Sauce," but in my copy the less is crossed out and a y substituted, because I use whole milk and regular cream cheese. It's delicious. Don't judge me [hi Heidi!])
2 T flour
1 t salt
1 T butter
3 garlic cloves, chopped
1 C grated Parmesan cheese

Toss milk, cream cheese, flour, and salt in a blender and process until smooth.
In a non-stick saucepan, melt better on medium-high heat and add garlic. Saute for 30 seconds, add milk mixture. Stir constantly until it simmers, about 3 to 4 minutes. Keep stirring until it thickens considerably, about 5 minutes. Remove pan from heat, stir in cheese, and cover immediately. Let stand 10 minutes or more before serving.

Pasta:
5 oz pepperoni, cut into julienne (this is the stick, not the pre-sliced)
1 bunch carefully rinsed or pre-washed bag spinach, coarsely chopped
1/2 lb penne
1 1/3 C panko (or you can use regular breadcrumbs and saute them in butter for 3 minutes)

Directions:
Make sauce. Preheat oven to 350 F and butter a 2 qt baking dish.
In a frying pan over medium heat, saute the pepperoni until nicely browned, about 7 minutes. Remove to paper towels with a slotted spoon. Saute spinach in pepperoni drippings until wilted, about 5 minutes. Combine drained pepperoni and wilted spinach.
Cook pasta to al dente according to package directions. Drain well.
Fold 3/4 of sauce into penne. Layer half the penne into buttered baking dish and top with spinach mixture. Scatter remaining penne evenly over the top and spoon on remaining sauce. Sprinkle breadcrumbs over the top.
Bake in oven until hot and bubbling, 20-25 minutes. Serve immediately.

Sock It To Ya

2010-10-29T16:47:00.000-06:00

These are my socks that I knitted myself, with some hand-painted yarn that I got for my birthday. I love that they don't match.

The pattern is called "Labyrinth" and the yarn named "Indian Corn," so I got a big chuckle out of the fact that I called this project "Maze." Y'know, like maze the puzzle and maize? HAHA! Ha. It was funnier in my mind.

Goody!

2010-10-26T17:50:00.003-06:00

Good news: I used up my weekly allotment of DUMB in one fell swoop today by emptying a cup of peppercorns into the dishwasher. All my actions for the rest of this week should be characterized by extreme forethought and intelligence.

Regulate, Formalize, Educate

2010-10-22T16:37:00.003-06:00

I've displayed Abby's spectacular dancing on this blog before. While she already has a great style of her own, I thought it would be good to introduce her to a little more formal type of dancing, so we enrolled her in a ballet class. It's been a great source of exercise and very therapeutic: I belly laughed so much the first class that my gut was sore the next couple of days. Watching a bunch of 3-year-olds galumph, stumble, and blank-stare their way through a 45-minute class definitely raises my spirits.

And actually, if watching your child try to master the arabesque and plie appeals to you, it's your lucky vague time period: Studio K Dance Academy has openings available for 3, 5, 7, 8, 9, and 10 year old kids. You can find the details in that link to their blog. We've only been twice so far, but I think it's a great value and lots of fun. They mention on the blog that it is a very low pressure studio, which I can vouch for as far as Abby's class goes. We'd love to see you there!

Feeling Corny

2010-10-17T16:28:00.003-06:00

Abby and Evie are both happily following in their father's footsteps by devouring corn at every opportunity. We thought it was really cute that Evie could hold her own corn. And she may have done a better job of clearing off the cob than Abby did.

Right on Target

2010-10-01T15:23:00.003-06:00

A few minutes ago, I finished a stressful shopping trip to Target with the girls. I turned from tussling the girls into the car to see an SUV with SERENITY printed on the back window, and experienced my first adult brush with hysterical laughter.

Treats

2010-09-29T21:10:00.001-06:00

This is why I believe heaven will smell like lime and toasted coconut.

Happy Tails to You

2010-09-29T20:56:00.003-06:00

I think family trends are quite amusing. My sister just blogged about her daughter saying Mommy (in a sentence), and my brother-in-law just posted about his daughter's pony tails. So I'm just trying to keep up with the Gotbergs and Browns.

Mom Mom bo-bomb

2010-09-26T22:43:00.002-06:00

Evie said "Mom" for the first time today. I was SOOO excited. For weeks I've been saying "No, I'm Mommy" when she grabs me and reaches out her arms to be picked up, crying "Daadaa!" Looks like it's finally sinking in.

Preparation

2010-09-08T21:22:00.002-06:00

A natural disaster hit our condo!

But don't worry. We survived.

Actually, the Sunday before last, our bishop spoke about emergency preparation, and at the end of his presentation, declared a preparedness practice: we were not to shop for the next three days, not put gas in the car, and try to use as little electricity as possible. I imagine it was a little more exciting for some of our ward members, but we always do our grocery shopping for the week on Friday or Saturday anyway. The only thing we didn't have enough of was: TOILET PAPER. It was kind of funny, because Sunday morning I mentioned to Regis that I would absolutely positively have to be sure and go to the store on Monday, because we only had THREE rolls left. So of course . . . no shopping for you! My sweet visiting teacher called Monday and asked if there was anything I needed, and very kindly brought us a few more rolls. As it turned out, we would have made it to Wednesday afternoon on our own (is that too much information?) but it was nice to have that security. :)

So now we've gotten really focussed on our food storage and 72-hour kit. Having kids reeeeally increases the amount of stuff you need, even in an emergency. But we're having a good time pricing cans of freeze dried fruit and canned bacon (I'm told it's quite tasty!). Now we just need to figure out where to put it.

Mooooo-what?

2010-08-31T21:48:00.002-06:00

My second child has just weaned herself, just like the first child did. I'm delighted this time. I had a really hard time when Abby decided she was done--I felt rejected. Evie is about the same age as Abby was, but I think it's easier this time because she'd already cut way back on the amount and number of times she was nursing. Now if I could just get her to drink cow milk . . .

Does This Husband Make Me Look Fat?

2010-08-23T21:24:00.000-06:00

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/overweight/MY01185

Abby's Party

2010-08-08T16:36:00.002-06:00

We had a great time at Abby's birthday party at the park. The kids loved the egg hunt, throwing bean bags at the cow, and playing "Sheepie Sheepie, Go to Grass." The adults' favorite part was, of course, our magnificent cake. Not everything went quite the way I planned it (the pavilion was taken over entirely by a family reunion or something, and it was too windy for some of our games), but I think everyone had fun. Abby did, anyway, and that was the whole point.

Breaking News

2010-08-07T00:05:00.001-06:00

Stay tuned for a report on Abby's birthday party. I anticipate great things.

Dancin' dancin' dancin'

2010-07-28T14:41:00.000-06:00

And you just know that in her head she looks exactly like Beyonce.

Goals and a Caveat

2010-07-23T11:57:00.001-06:00

One of my goals for this year is to improve my posture, so next time you see me, remind me to stand up straight.

My other goal is to punch people who nag me.

Just so you know.

Bits and Pieces

2010-07-14T22:23:00.003-06:00

I've been spending scads of money lately, mostly because I have a child who is turning three and good grief, you can't expect me to dress a three-year-old in clothes that are 2T! Oh, the humanity!

Evie's becoming a real person: she understands what I mean when I say things like "sit down," even if she doesn't choose to obey. I took the girls to the library the other day, and while Abby sat and battered the public computer's keyboard, I tried to pick out some books for myself. I had to take frequent breaks to chase Evie down the aisles in a quietly noisy way, because hearing me behind her made her squeal and giggle and speed up. It was hugely fun in a guilty way.

I have this constant nagging feeling that I'm being left behind. Any time a day of the week is mentioned, I kind of freeze and think "I know I have something that day. WHAT is going on that day?" Generally speaking, the real answer is nothing, but that doesn't stop me from having a stress attack about it.

And you know how I mentioned my new haircut a few posts back? I just realized that I got it cut nearly the exact same length when Abby was the age Evie is now.

Sometimes I have to step back and remember that one's cell phone is for one's own convenience, not the convenience of others. This applies to myself and to those I'm trying to reach.

Sign of the Times

2010-06-27T18:50:00.001-06:00

Coordinating nicely with my last post, I found my first grey hair yesterday. Yaaaaay.

Brought to you by the letter C

2010-06-25T12:48:00.004-06:00

Today Crystal met one of the heartbreaks of parenthood: when your child is the uninvited one. Ouch, ouch, ouch. I'm hurt on her behalf and terribly glad she doesn't understand. Is that justification for letting her watch movies all day and eat cookies for lunch?

Familiar Fish

2010-06-19T11:33:00.001-06:00

Welcome to the Zoo

2010-06-17T19:10:00.000-06:00

Don't go to the zoo on Memorial Day.

Ahhh, deep.

2010-05-21T14:54:00.000-06:00

Bad news, like a ripe strawberry, does not age well.

How nice! Except it isn't.

2010-05-21T09:56:00.002-06:00

Both my children woke up at 9:30 this morning. You might think you're envious, but you're not, and here's why: they also kept me awake until 2:30am with whining and snotting and general feelings of ill health. And the crustiness on Evie's face this morning was unspeakable, which is why this is a blog and not a podcast.

Today is not very promising.

2010-05-20T21:31:00.004-06:00

Regis and I are sushi masters. Except that we don't use raw fish. And we didn't realize we were only supposed to use half the nori sheet. So, we made some huge California rolls. And they tasted good.

Chop chop

2010-05-20T21:28:00.003-06:00

I got my hair cut yesterday. I thought it was pretty drastic, but no one else has noticed without me telling them, so I guess it's not as different as I thought. But look how curly!

I KNOW you know. I know. I get the concept.

2010-05-02T22:24:00.002-06:00

It snowed on May 1st. Blah blah, I hate spring in the Rocky Mountains, blah blah blah. Consider yourself whined to.

Ah, Spring

2010-04-26T15:35:00.003-06:00

I think it may have finally stopped snowing. (It snowed last week. LAST WEEK.)

These are some of the results of my attempt to take cute pictures of the girls in their matching shirts that Auntie Brook gave them. I have lots of mom friends who have photography businesses. They stay my friends because, wisely, they do not fear competition from me.

2010-04-08T16:38:00.002-06:00

Evie has two favorite games.

One is called "Try and pull up on everything." This is played just like it sounds.

The other is called "Mommy puts things in a box and Evie takes or dumps them out." It's very complex, and I don't have room to describe the rules here. But be assured, it does not matter what box is involved, or what the contents are. Evangeline is very versatile in her amusements.

And despite the fact that the nearest volcano is 150 miles away, not to mention extinct, the floor is still lava.

Evie Takes a Stand

2010-04-06T22:40:00.001-06:00

Last night, Evangeline pulled herself up on Abby's wagon 'o blocks. She stood there for perhaps ten minutes and was absolutely delighted with herself.

Spring/Easter

2010-04-06T22:34:00.000-06:00

Some Hatchings Hurt

2010-03-22T21:48:00.002-06:00

I remember throwing a fit when I was a child, for some reason I can't recall, when my mother was helping me write in my journal and committed the heinous sin of writing the date on the page. I have no way of knowing why that was so upsetting, but I know I screamed and cried and scrubbed out the ink with an eraser before I was done. (I'm anticipating with delight similar episodes with my own children. Poor Mom.)

I'm feeling appallingly mediocre tonight. It seems like I can't do anything really well. (Please don't compliment me; this isn't a fishing trip.) I tried to explain this to Regis, and jumped down his throat when he tried to make me feel better, so I get to add "wife" to that list too. Earlier we talked about why so many great painters, writers, etc. were depressed, and I theorized that content people rarely try to change things. I'm hoping that this means my brain is gearing up to do something great. Like come up with the magic answer for potty training, perhaps.

Sunny Side Up

2010-02-28T23:04:00.002-07:00

The highlight of my day was when I went into the girls' room this morning. We shut their door to block noise (from both sides) and Abby hasn't yet mastered opening it, so when I hear either child in the morning, I go in. Today Abby greeted me at the door, saying, "Evie's awake and she's singing to me!" Sure enough, Evie was happily cooing away. What a nice way to start the day.

Don't Nominate Me

2010-02-12T16:27:00.003-07:00

I really won't be winning Mom of the Year in 2010.

Last week, I walked a couple of steps out the door in order to clean out our vacuum filter. Abby, who like many toddlers loves routine, shut the door behind me and locked it. Not just the knob lock, the deadbolt. She has obviously picked up on our family's incessant door-locking. I stared through the window at Evangeline lying on the floor, and hollered, "ABBY! OPEN THE DOOR!" Her response was, of course, "Why?"

"Because if you don't, I'm going to spank your bottom!" (Yes, I know that wouldn't work. I was a little frantic.)

She did eventually get the deadbolt unlocked, with help from a stool and despite her mother's raucous wrath and muttered imprecations. I was still really mad when I finally got in, and she got a lecture (but not a spanking). It's hard to explain to a two and a half year old child why she shouldn't lock the door when Mommy leaves.

Later that day, I was emptying our paper shredder, which Abby loves to help with. I got all the shreds into a plastic bag, and as she grabbed it, told Abby to "go put it by the front door." She took off down the hallway to our bedroom instead. Frustrated, I yelled that she had three seconds to put the bag by the front door, or (there's a theme here) I would swat her bottom.

"One! . . . Two! . . ."

Abby cheerfully yelled back, "Three!"

Obviously, that method is not effective. I stomped down the hall and administered the swat. She cried. I started to explain why I was angry, when a little voice in the back of my head pondered, "Does she know where the front door is?" Guess what? She didn't. We played a fun game of Run to the Door (Where's Abby's door? Where's the closet door?), and now she knows.

This is the main reason I'm not winning. If I've talked to you lately, I've probably moaned and groaned about how Evangeline doesn't sleep through the night and is generally a grouch. Every night, she would wake up at least once and scream for at least an hour before going back to sleep. This did not make for a happy Mommy. Talking to a friend a few days ago, she mentioned that her son gets cold in their 68 degree apartment at night, so she puts socks and a onesie on under his pajamas. Our apartment is kept colder than that. I decided to dress Evie warmer that evening. When Regis got home, however, I learned another important lesson. Evangeline screamed and screamed and would not be comforted, so Regis decided to try and feed her. She ate about twice what we normally feed her at night before she finally stopped yelling. That night, she slept like an angel. The next day, I consciously tried to feed her more than I usually do, and guess what? She was an angel baby ALL DAY. So no, it wasn't just that she was teething, although she does now have two sharp ones. Evangeline was grouchy and sleepless because she was tired of living on a mere subsistence diet. Guess how that makes me feel? In a word: STUPID.

Don't go outside without your keys. Make sure she knows what you're talking about before you punish her. And maybe try feeding the baby once in a while.

Motherhood is meant to make me humble, I guess.

Production Floor

2010-02-03T12:44:00.001-07:00

Let's start determining productivity by how messy the house is. That way my day has already been amazingly successful.

I love you. Now let go.

2010-02-02T07:57:00.003-07:00

Evangeline is in a very frustrating stage. She's driving me absolutely bonkers. She has this misconception that she is my only child, as well as the only thing I have to pay attention to all day.

So here's me, bumbling along, trying to get Abby potty trained, the house clean, my calling done, the dishes put away, and all my other little ducks in a row. I carry Evangeline around, tucked in one arm, until I run out of things I can do with only one hand. Then I attempt to set her down, on a comfy blanket, with lots of diverting toys.

Evie: "WAH! MOM! I AM SO ANGRY! PICK ME UP IMMEDIATELY!"

Me: "Look, Evie, what I'm doing isn't really thrilling for you, and I need both hands to-"

Evie: "WAAAAAH! THE FLOOR IS LAVA AND IT BURNS!"

Me: "Oh, for heaven's sake!"

Abby: "Oh, fow 'eaven sake!"

Abby's stage is a bit less frustrating. She likes to repeat what I say, and to ask why. And she at least sleeps through the night.

Babies!

2010-01-30T22:11:00.000-07:00

This is Evangeline with her cousin Alice, in their Christmas outfits. We love Alice. Her eyes always make her look like she's fascinated by you, which is of course very flattering. Yet another example of someone we love who we wish lived closer. :)

Once there was a snowcave, snowcave, snowcave . . .

2010-01-26T18:37:00.004-07:00

After Abby and Evangeline each had some turns on the sled, we repurposed it as a snow shovel and built ourselves a lovely snowcave. It was probably the most fun I've had in the snow as an adult. I guess it's not all bad. :)

Miriam

2010-01-26T18:28:00.002-07:00

This is my friend Miriam, and I think she should write a book about herself because I would love to read it. In fact, I would love to pre-order that sucker right now. She used to be my neighbor, and if it weren't for the increasingly evident fact that we're outgrowing this apartment, I would try to convince her to move back.

. . . Gimme an "N"! What does it spell? Extortion!

2010-01-10T20:16:00.002-07:00

Dear Grandpa,

Abby really needs a cheerleading outfit.

Compliments to the Chef

2010-01-09T12:50:00.002-07:00

This morning I was delighted to hear Abby, unprompted, remark, "Yummy french toast, Mommy. Thank you, Mommy!" I'm pretty sure that means we're doing something right.

Even if that something is just the way I cook the toast.

You Can't Always Get What You Want

2010-01-07T23:57:00.003-07:00

My new assignment in church is to "edit" the newsletter for the Relief Society, the women's organization. The RS president encouraged me to "put [my] personality into it."

Bless their hearts. I think they will be glad that I didn't.

Christmas

2009-12-26T16:23:00.002-07:00

I hope you had a wonderful, merry Christmas. It was wonderful to be with my family.

Unfortunately, there was a terrible tragedy in my extended family on Christmas Day. My cousin's baby son passed away. Please please remember not to leave any baby unattended on a soft surface, especially with pillows or other soft items around, even if he or she has never moved around or rolled before.

Snowmen

2009-12-23T10:49:00.002-07:00

Here are Abby and Regis with their "'nowmens," as Abby calls them.

See PROFESSIONAL, A5

2009-12-23T10:12:00.004-07:00

Our local paper recently reported that "the economy sucks." On the front page. Another reporter referred to women whose "hair is always perfectly quaffed." The second I find amusing; the first is reprehensible. If this is the quality of writing we can expect from newspapers, perhaps their demise is not as tragic as I've been led to believe.

Brrrr!

2009-12-17T19:22:00.002-07:00

I got stuck in the snow for the first time on Sunday night. It was an interesting experience. I felt pretty embarrassed, and more than a little helpless. Luckily, I was in a neighborhood where probably 75% of the residents are in my ward. A couple of nice brothers pushed me out. When I got home and told the story to Regis, Abby was listening and had a good time repeating "Mommy 'tuck inna 'now!"

I'm ready to go to California for Christmas. It's supposed to get up to 60 degrees there tomorrow. The high for Provo today is lower than the low for my hometown.

Kids these days!

2009-12-03T18:35:00.002-07:00

I just heard the following on the radio:

"Getting into the single digits now--it's supposed to be 11 degrees tonight!"

Someone needs to find that man's parents and elementary school teachers and slap them.

Fun with Fire Alarms

2009-11-30T17:15:00.002-07:00

As I was cooking dinner this evening, I set off the fire alarm. Because I'm that good.

The fire alarm is situated right between the two rooms where Abigail and Evangeline were napping.

NEITHER OF THEM WOKE UP.

Should I be worried, or just feel really really blessed? :)

Hazards of Parenthood

2009-11-21T23:24:00.003-07:00

If you are a fervent admirer of my brother, Court, you've probably already read about his dumpster diving experience. For the benefit of the rest of you, I'll summarize: My mom entrusted to Court the Christmas stocking she had painstakingly designed, sewn, beaded, and embroidered for Evangeline, adjuring him to take good care of it and deliver it safely to me. You can imagine his horror when, on his way to our place for his birthday dinner, he couldn't find the stocking anywhere. After an exhaustive search, he was forced to conclude that someone had thrown it away. Disregarding his distaste, he dared the depths of the dumpster, digging through the discarded detritus until he discovered, despite delay, the decked out decoration. And it wasn't even dirty.

Well. This evening, on my way to go grocery shopping, I looked around for my phone. Considering we had given the apartment a thorough cleaning earlier in the day, it should have been easy to find. It wasn't. I searched, Regis searched. We checked the car, the creases of the couch, all pockets, Abby's room . . . . Nope. Finally, Regis wondered if it could have fallen into one of the storage totes he'd taken to our storage unit. As he went out the door to check, I half-jokingly suggested he call my phone and stand outside the dumpster, too, with Court's experience in mind. If you have any prescience at all, you know the rest. Evidently Abby, who has something of a passion for boxes, had dropped my phone into the empty box of baby wipes, which she then helped Regis carry out to the dumpster with the rest of the garbage.

So, as a warning to the rest of my family: If you can't find it anywhere, you know where to look.

It's in the Blood

2009-11-15T17:27:00.004-07:00

Abby's paternal grandfather farmed for many years. (We designate him as Grandpapa, as opposed to her maternal grandfather, Grandmapa. Regis' grandmother is therefore Grandpapama to Abby, which we love.) His mother, Grandpapama, still herds cows on her property. Well, I don't think she actually does the herding, although it puts a smile on my face to imagine this fiesty, 80-something-year-old woman smacking a few cows around.

Last week, we took the girls to the Thanksgiving Point Farm Country, and Abby just had a BLAST. Stupidly, we forgot to bring the camera, so all we have to remember it by are some fuzzy pictures on Regis' phone. (If you know how we can download those, let me know.) However, we didn't repeat the error on Saturday when we took her to see my uncle Glenn's chickens, and she was similarly delighted to feed them bread and even collect the eggs. She got a little nervous inside the henhouse, what with the chickens clucking and sneaking around and the roosters chasing the hens, but she had a good time.

With that kind of influence from both sides, we expect her to be a full-fledged farmer in a few years.

Abigail and Evangeline

2009-11-15T17:23:00.000-07:00

My Little Gourmand

2009-11-15T17:17:00.002-07:00

So you think your child has strange eating habits? You've already heard about the bamboo shoots, but try these on for size: raw cubes of butternut squash, and plain fresh cilantro.

Yum yum!

2009-11-15T17:15:00.002-07:00

I hate it when I have to eat my words. Unless, of course, those words are these: "Evangeline doesn't take naps!" "She doesn't put herself to sleep!" "And she doesn't sleep through the night! Waaaaaaah!"

In that case, every syllable is deeee-licious.

Shake Your Tail Feather

2009-11-01T20:11:00.000-07:00

Duck and Goose and Abby

2009-10-31T12:16:00.001-06:00

Sorry my videotaping skills aren't too hot, but the sound is what's most important anyway. Happy Halloween!

Your Mama Don't Dance

2009-10-20T11:06:00.003-06:00

Abby makes me laugh. I listen to the radio a lot whether I'm at home or in the car, and my favorite stations are classic rock and oldies. Abby has apparently been listening along with me: when Loggins and Messina came on singing about her mama and daddy the other day, she picked up on the important part. She turned to me and said, "Rock 'n roll! Rock 'n roll!" And because Mommy thought it was so funny the first time, she's repeated the performance any time it's mentioned in a song.

Convenient unless you're a cheapskate

2009-10-13T23:13:00.004-06:00

I owe Kohl's an apology. Before we went there to find Regis a new coat for work, I pulled an old pair of shoes out of storage and slipped them on. While Rege and Abby perused the menswear section, I strolled with Evangeline through the shoe section, looking for some cute winter shoes. Regis called me over a couple of times to ask my opinion. On my way back from one of these viewings, I noticed what looked like dirt on the floor. "How rude," I thought, "someone is tracking a lot of dirt all through the store." Oddly enough, I kept seeing more and more of it. And looking behind me, it seemed to be following me. I pulled my foot up to see if my shoes were somehow dirty--and discovered that they were disintegrating. Observe:Poor shoes. Doesn't it seem like Fate was trying to hand me a free pass? Especially since Regis said, "Do you want to just buy some new ones so you don't have to walk around in those anymore?" But I am a disgusting cheapskate and instead walked all around the store and ended up buying not shoes for me, but pants for my daughters. I left a Hansel-and-Gretel style trail all through Kohl's, and no joke, the cleaning lady passed by me going back towards the shoe section. The rest of the time she must have followed me at a discreet distance. I feel bad. Because I liked those shoes.

Because

2009-10-07T19:15:00.003-06:00

The life of a stay-at-home mom is strange. Today Abby took a nap because I was tired. Sometimes I think she eats because I am hungry. Eventually I expect her to start yawning because I am bored.

Evangeline slept straight through the night last night. It was lovely.

Topics of Conversation

2009-09-27T14:25:00.002-06:00

Abby made what I think was her first unprompted sentence the other day, an important developmental milestone. It was "Bees . . . attack . . . you."

Evangeline has been smiling socially for about 3 weeks now. I'd forgotten how devastatingly cute toothless grins are.

Sometimes I feel like a mean wife. Like when I ask Regis, "What do you want for dinner? White chili, salad and sausages, tacos, stir-fry, or omelettes?" and he says "How about stir-fry?" and I say "Let's have tacos." And now you know what's on our menu for this week.

Stop Drop and Roll

2009-09-03T18:02:00.003-06:00

My current music crush is "I'm On Fire" by Bruce Springsteen. I feel like that should be funny, for some reason--I really never thought of myself as a Springsteen fan. But the song is nice and sultry-sounding. And guess what? I just got it for free!

Amazon.com is giving away a free MP3 download to a million people, one of which could be you. How exciting. I found out about it here. Go find your own song.

Update: Hilariously, Regis misheard me when he called to chat on his way home, and listened in some confusion as I explained what I'd gotten and that I thought he should get one too. This was only cleared up after he arrived home and I clarified, between giggles, that Amazon is not giving out free thongs.

Looked out the window and what did I see?

2009-09-03T17:12:00.002-06:00

Children are funny.

Today as I was cleaning out the linen cupboard (a lofty title for the closet where we shove our 9,765,354 blankets) I pulled out a gray plaid blanket, which holds no particular associations for me, and continued through the pile. Abby snatched up the blanket and started to drag it towards the living room. She paused partway, and dropped it to free her hands so she could say "Pop! Pop!" and do the motions for "Popcorn Popping," one of her favorite songs. I obliged her with the song while returning the blanket to the pile. She ran to the living room and bent down, smacking the carpet while saying "Ugguhguh!" which is what she says when she doesn't know the words for what she wants.

For a while, all this triggered in me was a vague irritation, since Ugguhguh is usually said in a whiny voice. It was several moments before I made the connection. About two months ago, Abby and I had an impromptu picnic on the living room floor, the menu of which had only one item: popcorn. We'd sat on that very gray blanket. Once the lightbulb went on, I asked Abby if popcorn was what she wanted. I'm so glad she's not old enough to say "DUH!"

So we had another enjoyable popcorn picnic, and I mused on two important points: these little moments of fun with just the two of us are apparently meaningful and memorable for Abby--and we have too many blankets.

Grrrr

2009-09-01T12:33:00.004-06:00

I love to read books. Fiction books, and mysteries in particular are my favorites.

I HATE reading books in which the main character or characters are stupid.

For example, there is a series in which the protagonist, Sebastian St. Cyr, is supposed to be this brilliant detective. His lover, an actress, is also supposed to be clever. Despite the author's continual harping on the facts that Sebastian has strange eyes, that his "father" has never liked him, and that his mother was notoriously promiscuous, the detective and his honey somehow don't realize (presumably until the last book, which I haven't read) that Sebastian is a bastard child, which forces them to part because Kat turns out to be the child of his "father." This would be tragic, if I wasn't so disgusted with their stupidity that I didn't care what happened to either of them anymore. The real tragedy is that I can't bring myself to finish the series, which leaves me feeling slightly guilty.

I've always liked The Scarlet Pimpernel, although recently I've noticed how cheesy parts of it are. I guess a lot of things I like are cheesy, like nachos. But right now I'm reading El Dorado, a further adventure of the Pimpernel, which has precipitated this rant. Armand is an idiot. The plot of this book better be darn good, because the main character is irritating the heck out of me.

Ouch

2009-08-26T15:26:00.001-06:00

"An executive for an anti-animal cruelty group says her 16-year-old blind and deaf dog died after she accidentally left him in her hot car for four hours."

Well, if she belongs to a cruelty group that is anti-animal, that makes sense, doesn't it?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32569213/ns/us_news-life?gt1=43001

Guess What?

2009-08-24T21:28:00.002-06:00

I showered today.

(enthusiastic applause)

A Nice Surprise

2009-08-18T12:17:00.004-06:00

A few minutes ago, as I tried to convince Abby to lay down and take a nap, I had a Motherhood Moment. Simultaneously, Evie started screaming, the phone started ringing, and someone pushed the doorbell and knocked, and I thought to myself, What a wonderful wooooorld!* I'm sure I looked the picture of overwhelmed young motherhood as I skirted two carseats to open the door to my laundry- and toy-strewn apartment, hair askew, wearing stretchy exercise pants, with my infant wailing on the floor behind me. I think the delivery guy was smirking while I signed for my box. After several attempts, I finally got both girls down for a nap and snuck back into the living room to see what I'd been sent.

For the moment, all is well with the world.

I have thirty pounds of sleeping children and four pounds of Jelly Bellies.

I love my Brook.

*That's not really what I thought, but it's much more suitable for publication.

Moooooo

2009-08-14T16:47:00.002-06:00

Evie had her first doctor's appointment today. After checking out her chart, the doc observed, "You must be making full cream." Normally, they look for babies to be back to their birth weights by the two week mark. Evie was 7 lb 2 oz at birth--she's now 8 lb even.

Hooray for Grandma

2009-08-06T14:45:00.004-06:00

My mom is here visiting and taking care of me while I get used to taking care of two little girls. Abby is having a blast with her, and it's been SOOOO nice to have another pair of arms to rock Evie. :) We're all very glad she is willing and able to come.

Hey, hey baby!

2009-07-30T15:31:00.005-06:00

I am overwhelmed.

I am overwhelmed by lots of different feelings. I have a deep feeling of love for my sweet little girls, and my loving, wonderful husband. I am amazed by how much bigger and more mature Abby seems now that I have Evie to compare her with. I am terrified of the future.

Evangeline was born on July 29th at 1:24 am. She was 7 lbs 2 oz and 19 inches.

Going the Distance

2009-07-22T22:08:00.003-06:00

My mom went square dancing the night before my eldest sister was born. In that spirit, Regis suggested that we spend this late afternoon and evening doing this:

If you've spent any significant time in Provo, you should recognize our surroundings. Here is what Wikipedia says about it. We all had lots of fun and got very tired. I got lots of smiles, a few funny looks, and some compliments, but so far not the result we were aiming for.

In case you were wondering

2009-07-22T16:58:00.002-06:00

I hope none of you have been waiting with bated breath, or especially baited breath, since trying to catch something with bait in your mouth has got to be unpleasant. My current bodymate has declined to become my housemate thus far, and while I can understand being cautious in the current economic climate, I sure wish I had the authority, as landlady, to evict her. This translates to: the baby isn't born yet. I wish she was. Rocky Mountain Wingshak spicy wings and a long walk have failed to dislodge her. So has cleaning the house thus far. Any other suggestions?

Yoink!

2009-07-13T12:33:00.002-06:00

I've graduated from maternity to paternity clothes: My own tops no longer fit over my belly, so I'm wearing Regis' shirts. Some of them are surprisingly flattering. That doesn't mean I want to keep wearing them for long.

Last Place

2009-07-09T16:46:00.002-06:00

I had an appointment this week to check on how the baby is cooking, and my doctor commented, "I've delivered all the babies due this month except for yours." Way to make me feel like I'm holding up the line, Doc.

My big sister had her first baby last week, and she has sweet tiny baby legs and a droll little mouth all drawn up like a bow.

I think the real reason women get tired of being pregnant in the ninth month is because people keep asking them if they are.

Keep on Rockin'

2009-07-01T21:58:00.003-06:00

Last week, while Regis had his time off, we went up to Bridal Veil Falls. Regis and I enjoyed the scenery, while Abby enjoyed dropping rocks in the water. We were there for probably an hour, and the whole time she wanted us to provide continuous handfuls of rocks for her to drop, one by one, into the stream. I have no idea why it was so thrilling, but she enjoyed it a lot.

Birthday and Nesting

2009-06-28T22:33:00.003-06:00

Today is Regis' birthday. To celebrate his senescence, we bought him a rocking chair yesterday. Well, to be truthful, we bought the rocker as a combination Father's Day, birthday, and anniversary gift, so I guess that means Regis gets to sit in it 3/4 of the time. June is an eventful month for us.

This weekend has been a lot of fun. Regis took a couple of days off from work so that we could get to some big projects we've been meaning to do before the baby comes. Our carpets are now cleaned, our bedroom is organized, our bathtub is re-caulked. My brother Glenn and his family came for a visit which was too short, but tons of fun. We also had a lot of time to relax and enjoy just being together as a family. We've decided Regis definitely needs to take days off more often, although we suspect it will be VERY hard for him to go back to work on Monday. Abby and I will certainly miss having Daddy around during the day.

I haven't been very good about blogging lately, so I'll try to make up for it with some fun pictures later this week.

Oh yes?

2009-06-13T20:53:00.002-06:00

Ripped from the back of a crouton box:
"Just like the finest restaurants, each crouton is prepared slightly larger to capture more flavor."

And now you know the secret to fine dining: a bigger restaurant.

Free stuff! Ooooo!

2009-06-11T12:31:00.003-06:00

My friend Heidi is doing a free photo session giveaway on her blog. I entered, but I'm not sure I want pictures of my great big belly at this stage. So if you're in the area, you should enter to win some free family pictures to decrease my chances! Samples are found on her blog and on my living room wall. :)

http://heidis-photography.blogspot.com/

Fending for Herself

2009-06-07T14:15:00.002-06:00

Look closely at that label there. Maybe we should have named her Ling-Ling.

How I Spent My Spring Vacation

2009-06-07T13:51:00.007-06:00

This is how my family likes to spend our vacations:

All right, so we didn't do TOO much of that. We also went to the beach:

And to Sea World:

We had a great time visiting with Mom and Dad and Coral, Brook and Jake, Tyrus and Jen and Elena, and Miriam, Ryan, Ava, and Seth. The weather was gorgeous; the traffic was not. We had Afghani food for the first time, and learned why we don't shop at Nordstrom and why GPSs are so popular. Abby developed a love for airplanes and a hatred for sand. We ate a farmer's market full of strawberries and cherries, and played a great game of Twit. I'll save the rest of the details for Abby's journal, but I hope it's clear that we really enjoyed ourselves.

The Prisoner

2009-05-29T22:52:00.001-06:00

"Bread and water AGAIN? Can't we jazz up the meals a little more, Mom?"

Apparently I need to try harder.

Win Fame and Glory!

2009-05-29T22:49:00.004-06:00

Who knows where this picture was taken? Extra points if you love both people in it.

Close, Miriam, but not quite! Here's clue #2:

Clearing my Conscience

2009-05-29T22:33:00.003-06:00

This doesn't apply to most of you, but it's drifted to the surface of my mind often enough that I want to address it. I have, on the side of my blog site, a listing of blogs that I keep track of, with the title "I've Got My Eye On You . . .". If you have checked that listing for your own blog and felt wounded by its absence, consider the following: I do not list blogs that require permission. I hate clicking on links on someone else's blog only to be told that I'm "not invited." It is also possible that I am simply not aware of your blog. Several choices here: either leave a comment on my blog (I usually check to see if you have a blog to follow back to), email me and tell me I should read your blog, email and insist that I add your blog to the list, or sit on your hands and wait until I find it myself.

Or I may have read your blog and decided it was boring, in which case, I'm sorry.

Puzzled at the Park

2009-05-28T18:40:00.001-06:00

Abby and I went to the park a few days ago to feed the ingrate ducks all the stale pretzels, Cheerios, and other bread-ish food that collects around small children. They are never very appreciative, which sometimes leads to my chucking cereal AT the ducks instead of TO them. Don't tell the animal protection people.

Anyway, at the park we ran into another mom and her kids, and while we swung our respective children, she initiated a conversation. I hate smalltalk, but it does provide amusement. For example, she asked when my baby is due, and then what I "do." I replied that I stay at home, and she said "Good for you! Good." A little later in the conversation, she asked how many kids Regis and I want to have. (Again, I hate smalltalk.) I joked that while my mom only had 7 kids, Regis' mom had 11, so we're just trying to beat her--then we'll be satisfied. She said, "Oh, I admire anyone who can have 7 kids." I agreed, and mentioned that Mom also graduated from law school while raising them, took the bar exam a few days after my sister's birth, and is basically amazing. She asked, "What kind of law does she practice?"

This is the part that puzzled me. I have one young child and one on the way. She showed no surprise that I am a stay-at-home mom; in fact, she heartily approved it (or faked as much). So why would she expect that a woman with 7 children would work outside the home in a field known for its intensity and long hours? I guess she could have assumed that we are all grown and out of the nest, but since I never mentioned where I fall in line, for all she knew, Mom still has kids under 10 at home.

Does that seem weird to you?

Raising a Panda

2009-05-19T10:52:00.001-06:00

My daughter disdains strawberry yogurt, choosing instead to snack on sliced bamboo shoots. Why are toddlers so weird?

Friday Five

2009-05-15T17:27:00.002-06:00

Happy Friday! It's time for a list.

Five Things that Make Me Happy:

1. Bacon.

2. Abby's dimple.

3. Listening to oldies.

4. Knitting.

5. Tickling Regis.

If "Being tickled" was only on Regis' list, my life would be so much happier.

Scaling back

2009-05-06T13:05:00.002-06:00

I don't know why, but Regis always feels like he has to argue with me about buying butter.

Yesterday I said, "Oooo, butter is $1.79! Let's get some. Write it on the list."
He says, "You do realize that we already have a ton of butter?"
I say, "That's just silly. Our whole fridge/freezer setup doesn't weigh a ton. It doesn't even weigh half a ton."

And then we carried on for about ten minutes trying to decide what fraction of a ton our fridge weighs, based on my belief that I could move it myself if I had to.

Isn't marriage fun?

Dumb Joke

2009-04-29T09:36:00.003-06:00

Y'know, it's kind of too bad that Al Gore didn't win the presidency that time, because then when the media started plastering pictures of the First Lady's clothes everywhere, we could have called it "Tipperwear!" Ha! Ha! Y'know, like Tupperware? Only Tipperwear? Haha?

Seriously, why do we care what the First Lady is wearing? Or what the First Children dress in? Or that the First Dog likes to bite its own paws? Why are people being paid to write about these things?

Reflections of an Old Geezer

2009-04-29T08:31:00.004-06:00

I've been reflecting recently on the fact that I'm 24 years old now. (Eeek! How did that happen?) I was married at 20, had my first child at 22, and will have my second this year. It makes me wonder if people are ever tempted to tell me to "act my age." It's not the norm these days to do that so young; in fact, it's not the norm to get married at all.

Seeing our younger siblings contemplating marriage has been stressful for me. I want to tell them to back up and think about this more deeply: marriage affects so much of your life! I want to ask lots of nosy questions that they won't know the answers to yet, because they've never been in a situation like marriage before. I want to tell them to grow up more before they even think about making that commitment.

But on the other hand, I recognize that I probably shouldn't. For one thing, it won't do any good. For another, they would probably be justified in thinking it a little hypocritical of me. I sometimes look at my marriage and think, "Wow, I sure lucked out, because I didn't even think about whether Regis would be X or do Y. It's a good thing he is/does." And then sometimes I think that marriage is really a craps shoot, anyway: there's no way you can know everything about the person you marry or how their character and behaviors will affect your union, so you might as well pick your numbers as best you can and roll the dice.

I think marriage makes you grow up a lot. But I don't advise doing it that way.

Big Old Jet Airliner

2009-04-15T13:25:00.000-06:00

I bought plane tickets to California today. What? I can hear you all gasping incredulously. What could possibly induce Crystal to leave the Beehive State, the land of her pioneer forefathers, the birthplace of her darling daughter?

Well, how about this?

That's right, Utah, I've had quite enough of your nonsense. Dumping several inches of snow in APRIL is unnacceptable behavior, and I won't put up with it any longer.

Except that I will have to, because we don't fly out until May. By which time the weather will probably be gorgeous. I hate this place.

Happy Easter

2009-04-12T17:09:00.000-06:00

Abby really enjoyed her egg hunt this morning. She was absolutely ecstatic about the candy she discovered inside the eggs, but she was more than willing to share with both Daddy and Mommy. We loved how she would find an egg, then go back to her stash to refresh herself with a jelly bean before continuing the search. Apparently Easter egg hunts are taxing.

The Easter Bunny has discovered that he has an alarming tendency to buy way too much candy for one little girl. Luckily, Mommy and Daddy are willing to sacrifice to make up the difference.