I'm bored. When I'm bored, I start thinking "blah." And when I start thinking that, I start writing it and saying it. Which makes my husband nervous, as he's read somewhere that people who write and say "blah" a lot are suicidal. I'm not, but I suspect I may be depressed. He thinks it's because I don't have enough work to do, and the solution is for me to get another job. I am therefore encouraged daily to search out and apply for another job. Applying for jobs may be the most depressing thing I've ever done, especially because it frequently ends in being turned down by snooty people who write things like "Good luck in your search for employment." And yes, that is a direct quotation. Look, pal, I AM employed.
So I get bored and depressed, my husband tells me to get a job, and I get more depressed because I feel like he thinks I'm a lazy bum, so I try and fix it by applying for jobs, whereupon I'm turned down by obnoxious people and get more depressed. It's a vicious circle. I'm also encouraged to paint. This is not a good plan. I was taught to paint by a woman who apparently had little creative instinct, since she painted mostly from photographs and encouraged her students to paint from other paintings. Hence, unless I have something else to look at, I don't know what to paint. Or maybe I'm just blaming my own shortcomings on other people. At any rate, I haven't painted for over a year now, besides the walls of our apartment. I guess they turned out pretty good, but they're not exactly works of art.
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
So, the guy that I sent off on his mission is back. I talked to him a little bit online today. It really seems incredible to me that he's still kinda bitter about the whole breaking up and me getting married to someone else. I mean, c'mon. It's been over a year now. But I guess he didn't have much normal social interaction in the interim. It really made me sad, because I've been feeling like I don't have any friends lately, and I really would like to have him as a friend, especially since we have several mutual friends. Oh well. Maybe he just needs time to find himself a charming wifey. Except then he'll disappear into the ranks of married males, who don't seem to need friends once they've found a woman. I know my darling hubby doesn't understand why I need someone besides him to talk to, bless his heart. I guess that being friends with a bachelor, as a married woman, is kind of frowned upon. Bummer.