Ummm . . .

Yesterday we received two wedding invitations in the mail. To the same wedding. From the handwriting on the envelopes, we're guessing that one was written by the groom and one written by the bride. My name was spelled wrong on BOTH of them. But differently.

At the end of last year, we attended a wedding reception and, of course, brought a gift. Several weeks later, we received a thank you note addressed to "Regis & ______ ".

I'm feeling a little hurt.

I come to bury the week, not to praise it

Friends, Romans, countrypersons, this week has not been a good one. Any suggestions on how to make it better would be appreciated.

Stylin'

Abby has decided to wear a long-sleeved shirt, no pants, two pairs of socks, and her mittens today.

Gabby Abby Returns

Those who find fault with the title on the grounds that they "saw a lot of Abigail and heard not much talking" are cordially invited to bite a brick.

Gabby Abby

Brook demanded more videos of Abby talking. Never let it be said that I am not an obliging sister.

Lost, Lost, Lost

Has anybody seen Abby's little gray plastic Fisher Price horse?

Nothing but the Truth

Regis thinks I win all our arguments because I majored in philosophy.

Actually, it's because I'm always right.

News to You?

I was caught out at church today. I was forced to admit, right there in front of the ward librarians, that my protuberant tummy is not merely my attempt to add personal insulation against the winter cold. I'm grateful that the lady who asked insisted that my due date couldn't possibly be in July, since I still look "so tiny," but as I pointed out, I must not be THAT tiny, since she did notice. I must be doing better on that insulation than I thought. :)

At any rate, here are a few things you should know.

1. Do not ever refer to my condition as "preggers." EVER. "In the family way" is fine. "Knocked up" is humorous. "A bun in the oven" is okay. Take note and tread carefully.

2. I reserve the right to be irrational. If randomness is justifiable at no other time in my life, it is now.

3. My nose is very sensitive these days, more so than I remember the first time around. I will always think there is something bad in the fridge. I will gag seemingly without provocation. If you have a Snickers bar in your pocket, I WILL smell it. You'd better just give it to me.

4. I forget.

Eat It or Wear It

Abby likes my cooking. It's delicious and fashionable.

Apparently clam chowder doubles as shampoo.

I love this picture. Maybe because I'm relieved she's not allergic to peanuts.

Winter Reading

I just finished reading Bare Branches: The Security Implications of Asia's Surplus Male Population (which seems an appropriate title to occupy me in the winter). It is probably the most interesting and depressing book I've read in a long time. I think I've written before about my preference for light reads, especially those with happy endings, but I found my local library's "Request a Book" feature and thought this would be a good addition. I was a little surprised when it showed up on my account as a reserved book a few weeks later; apparently if you tell them it's good, they give you first dibs. Anyway, Bare Branches discusses the huge problems caused by India and China's overwhelming scarcity of females due to sex-selective abortions, infanticide, and neglect. The title refers to the resulting men who are left without wives and families, and therefore tend to congregate in groups that engage in dangerous behaviors like drug use, violent crime, fighting, and rebellion against the government. These bands of unattached men become particularly dangerous when driven to desperation by a failing economy. (Did you hear something? Oh, that was just the bell tolling DOOM.) So, an interesting read, and it made me want to find out more about how China has changed their family planning policy and whether India has become aware of the problem.

Y'know, Valentine's Day is coming . . .

I love Jelly Bellies. If you are ever at a loss for what to buy me, rest assured that I find Jelly Belly Jelly Beans perfectly acceptable. And I'm not snobby: I'll take Belly Flops. I like fruit flavors and the sour ones best. And now I'm drooling.

Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny

One of these girls is seven months older than the other one.

For more pictures, see Heidi's blog.

I have birthed a midget.

Xenophobic

Regis (to Abby): Are you playing with the Zesty Italian?

Crystal: Abby! Do NOT play with zesty Italians!

Afraid of Momma Bear

I'm sorry to say that I lost my temper at Cub Scouts today. Despite that, it was a good meeting. The boys, including one who's new, worked on making board games and learning to play marbles, then we went to the kitchen and they helped me make Muddy Buddies. A lot of the boys didn't know what these delicious chocolatey-peanut-buttery treats are, but everybody was excited about helping, and everybody was definitely excited about eating them. Oddly enough, not one of the boys was excited about helping to clean up. Why should this be? It's a mystery.

Being a Den Leader is kind of tough at times. I don't think I'm old enough for them to respect as a "mom-lady," but I'm not young enough to be a peer. Cub Scouts is not like school: I can't send them to detention or the principal's office if they don't behave. Plus, it's voluntary and we want them to like coming, so we never want to exclude boys from activities.

However, I like order and I like to be listened to. There are two boys in particular who have problems with obeying directions, though all the boys slip now and then. Today I was washing out the dishes from the Muddy Buddies at one sink, while these two boys were tease fighting about who got to wash his hands at the next sink. The water in the sink was really hot and hurting my hands, Abby was shoving her head between my knees (her preferred method of getting my attention when she feels ignored), and I was very ready to go home. The boys were shoving and running into me, so I said, "Billy and Bobby, you need to stop." No response, of course (and not because those aren't their real names; I'm protecting myself. See title).
"Billy. Bobby."
Nothing.
So I yelled. "BILLY! STOP IT RIGHT NOW!"
I definitely got his attention, anyway. I think I actually scared the poor kid. Sister Lefler (me) is normally such a calm, low-key person. Now he knows what happens when she doesn't get any Muddy Buddies.

Crystal's Thursday Three

Top Three LEAST Favorite Songs:

1. Maggie May by Rod Stewart
2. The Reason by Hoobastank
3. It Wasn't Me by Shaggy

I can recognize the first two by the initial 3 beats or so, along with the impending feeling of doom I always get seconds before they're played. I've skillfully avoided hearing either of them for years with my quick-draw channel changin' fingers. The third one never gets played on any station I actually listen to, so I don't worry about it.

2009

Happy new year! I hope you all have some lovely and promising resolutions for 2009.

I don't. Because I'm already practically perfect in every way.

Okay, okay, I don't have any because I'm a procrastinator, but I refuse to make that the subject of a resolution. We'll probably start resolving tomorrow, for family home evening, but if you have any suggestions feel free to leave them in the comments.

Decisions, decisions

It's hard to believe that tomorrow is the last day of 2008. We have several options for ringing in the new year:

• Sashay up to Sundance's Tree Room restaurant for their fancy five course New Year's Eve meal at only $110 per person;
• Trip over to Tucano's Brazilian Grill for "an evening of fun, food, music and dancing Brazilian-Style" for just $49.95 per person;
• Visit Village Inn, which will be open all night and features yucky pies and decent food; or
  
• Hold the fort at home, drink Martinelli's till we puke and go to bed at 10.

Hmmmmm.

Had ourselves a merry little Christmas

We spent Christmas this year with Regis' family up in Logan. It was really fun, and went better than I expected: normally I don't sleep well there, what with the air mattress and tons of people in the house with early morning paper routes. But this time I slept well, Abby slept well, and Regis slept well (what a shock), and our special Asian food dinner was tasty and almost all ready at the same time.

We all got lots of nifty presents. I've been enjoying my new clock/iPod player. Regis has already done significant work on the mound of chocolate Santa brought him. Abby's been enjoying her new toys and toothbrush, and I'm excited about her cute new clothes. She already needs a new Sunday dress, which boggles my mind since we just bought her two new ones a couple of months ago. As Regis said, we've been spoiled. She used to wear things for six months or so, but the way she's eating these days we suspect some serious growth is coming.

State Hunting

As I said to Regis a couple days ago, I really don't think I can stand living in Utah much longer. It's just too cold. There are lots of good things about this state, but I can't handle being trapped in my house for at least four months of the year. The problem is, where to go?

So You Think You Can . . .

We did not teach her this. I love it when she comes up with things on her own.